By appointment · open at odd hours

The First Sitting

$9.99one payment · not a club

A proper portrait of your dog. Or both of you.

A sitting is what they called it when you went to the painter. You had to be royal, or married to a cousin, ideally both. Your dog is neither and is going anyway.

See your dog in oilSee what is possible

Oil, sketch, or whatever you type — make a wish.

A laughing woman at the head of a long banqueting table, the finished portraits propped on every chair like guests who arrived together
Every chair taken · nobody had to sit still
No. 1 — the sitting

See your dog in oil before you pay a penny.

One photograph. One line of your own. Press the button. The first one is free and it is the real thing.

1 — the photograph
2 — the custom text

Their name, or a whole line. It gets painted in, in the picture’s own hand — gilt serif under the oil, pencil in the corner of the drawing. Never stuck on after.

3 — the wish opens at $9.99

Write it now. We hold it. It gets painted the moment the sitting is yours.

Free. The oil comes back first.

The portrait

The portrait.
Currently empty.

First Sitting — previewThe sitting is under way1:30do not close this page

The easel is clean. The paint is open.

That’s your dog.

Unlock the sitting — $9.99

Print file · second portrait · type any scene you want · one re-roll if we didn’t get the eyes

Keep this sitting — $9.99
No. 2 — the collection

Choose any style from the collection.

Twenty-six house styles, all of them ours, all of them on the same photograph. Hover to stop the wall. Or scroll past the lot and make a wish instead.

Twenty-six, and it grows.New styles land most weeks · you keep the lot
Or

Make a wish.

Nothing on the wall is compulsory. Type the picture that isn’t there and we paint that instead. One sentence is the whole brief.

Four people typed those this week. None of them are on the wall. All four got painted.

Stained glass
No. 3 — the words

Say something.
It becomes the picture.

A name. A house motto. Something only your family finds funny. Type it and it comes back built into the art — a travel poster, a monogram, a coat of arms with a shield nobody earned.

A scruffy terrier standing up at an open fridge, caught in the act
The photograph · 11.42pm · the fridge
A travel-poster print of the dog on a ship's deck in a green jacket, banner reading Mister Oops Says Hi
typedMister Oops says hiThe postcard
A floral monogram H with the dog leaning through it, scripted The House of Good Boy
typedThe House of Good BoyThe monogram
A gilded monogram M wound with roses, the dog on a shield at its centre, ribbon reading Mary's Castle
typedMary’s CastleThe coat of arms

Same dog. Same fridge. Three sentences apart.

No. 4 — elsewhere

On the wall.

You get the files. What happens next is entirely your opportunity. Three people who took it.

Gilt-framed oil hung on a pink wall above its owner and her dog
The oil, gilt frame, evening lamp.
Framed portrait on a panelled hallway wall above the stairs
Hall, stairs, hung slightly high.
Printed portraits on a desk beside an envelope
Printed at home. Cheap frame. Still works.

Nobody has ever asked if we have children and liked the true answer. This helps.

No. 5 — overheard

What people actually said.

Copied out as sent. Punctuation theirs.

Cannot stop looking at it. Same photo that has sat on my phone for two years and now she is in a ruff. Same face, different century. Absolutely delighted with it.
Aoife · Galway
It is him. Not a dog like him. Him, in ermine. I have shown it to everyone I know.
Wes · Portland
Laughed, then got unexpectedly teary. Ordered two more that night.
Bea · Manchester
I paid two hundred for a commission last year that looks less like her than this does. Genuinely thrilled.
Lena · Hamburg
Best ten euro I have spent this year, and I have spent a lot of tenners badly. It is in the kitchen, where he actually is.
Ruairi · Cork
It is my lock screen, my mum’s lock screen, and now a tea towel. No regrets.
Sam · Adelaide

No stars. No stock faces. If somebody says something better, that one goes up instead.

A gallery wall hung with a large signed roundel of a man being licked by his dog, the original phone snapshot framed small beside it
Somebody hung it · somebody priced it
No. 6 — $9.99, one payment

What you keep.

  • Three wishesAny three pictures you like:Pick from the collection — 26 stylesOr type your own — one sentence eachOr mix the two, nobody is counting
  • One re-rollIf we nearly got them and then didn’t. You say so, we go again. No form, no argument.
  • The licenceIt comes with a licence to sell it, which somebody has clearly taken personally. Print it at any size, frame it, hang it, price it. We want no cut and no credit.
Buy the sitting — $9.99See the oil first — free

300 DPI. Prints to 16×20 without going soft. We do not subscribe you to your own dog.

Do not like them?
Do not pay for them.

We have no way of getting them off your fridge from here.

30 daysNo questionsNothing to post backYou keep all
No. 7 — asked

If you’re going to ask.

Will it look like my dog?

That’s the entire job. If we miss, you re-roll the wish. The oil and the drawing come from your photograph, not from a stock breed.

Can I be in it?

Yes. Stand next to them and prepare to come second. Everybody does. The dog has never once been described as ‘also in it’.

Is this a filter pack?

A filter puts a hat on your dog. This gives them a century, a job and somewhere to be. The hat is included, obviously.

Dogs are not a long story. This is a good way to keep one.

The Full Bloom Club · by appointment · open at odd hours
The First Sitting — $9.99The oil, the drawing, the wish, the file, one correction.Keep this sitting — $9.99

Billing details

Your order

Product with subtotal Subtotal
The First Sitting 
$11.99 (incl. VAT)
Subtotal $11.99 (incl. VAT)
Total $11.99 (includes $2.00 UK Tax)
$9.99
10 more portraits
Ten more sittings
They are added to the same page as your first three, on the same link. Come back with another photograph any time.

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